To be yours republished
by xxtwilight goddess xx
Summary: My take on what would have happened if Bella had wised up about Jacob and been good to Edward, they actually talk about all their problems :-) NOT for people on team Jacob, I am definitely team Edward
1. Chapter 1

Just leave me alone, Edward" I screamed as I jumped out of the car, slamming the door behind me. I hoped it left a mark on his precious Volvo. "Bella please, we need to talk about this" he pleaded as I stormed up the steps to my house, fumbling with my keys, I felt him hover behind me. At least he had enough sense to not try and help me but apparently not enough sense to just leave and let me think about what I'm going to do. I needed to think and I could not do that with Edward around. I finally got the door open and stepped inside the doorway, I saw Edward look up at me uncertainly, he spoke slowly "you want me to leave" I heard in his voice how much that hurt him, although he tried to hide it. I held my hand out for him, he immediately took it, holding it in both of his.

I sighed "listen honey, I love you but I need tine to think and to be honest" I paused looking up at him, hoping he would not take this the wrong way " to be honest, I need to be mad at you. This" I waved my hand between us " is never going to work unless we have our arguments out, not us just immediately forgiving each other every time because we can't bare being apart or we don't want to argue. It's no good papering over the cracks, we need to talk to each other. We need to talk about a lot of things not just him" he looked at me lovingly. " I know your right we do have a history of things going wrong when we don't talk to each other but I'm not going to change my mind about this its too dangerous" he just couldn't stop fighting me, I dropped his hand "It's not your decision, your not my father, your meant to be my boyfriend. I'm not a child so stop treating me like one, I hate you" I shouted, slamming the door and effectively locking him out and if he knows what's good for him then he won't try the window. I felt instantly guilty for telling him I hated him when I obviously didn't but I pushed my guilt down, he caused the argument.

I leaned against the door, sliding down until I was sitting with my arms wrapped around my legs. I breathed out when I heard his engine start and pull out of my driveway. I stayed there for a few minutes before I realized Charlie would be back soon and would need feeding. I got up and decided to make a stirfry as it was simple and basically we had the ingredients for it. I gently stirred it, it smelled delicious I picked out a bit of chicken with a fork and tasted it to check the meat was cooked all the way through. Just as I put the fork down and was about to take it off the ring, the back door opened and smacked against the wall, taking me by surprise. I jumped back and accidentally pushed down on the handle, causing the hot oil to spill on my arm. I winced, quickly running to sink and running the burn under cold water. "Bella!" Charlie shouted running over to check my arm, he took a sharp breath in when he saw it "what happened?" I sighed " it was an accident, the back door slammed open, I must have not shut it or something, it just gave me a shock and.." I left off gesturing at my arm. He grabbed my keys off the table and pushed me out the door, my dad trying to drive the car was a funny sight, it probably would have more funny if it was not for the searing pain in my arm. He drove quickly, I made a joked about how he was setting a bad example for me but he just looked at my arm. We reached the hospital around 7:30 and I rolled my eyes at the waiting room, I looked at Charlie to suggest we go home but one glare, silenced me. I took a seat while Charlie went up to the front desk, this was going to be a long night.

We were sitting there for half an hour at which point I had drifted off in a daydream when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Carlisle stood there and gestured me to follow him, Charlie silently asked me if he wanted him to come with him but I shook my head. Carlisle led me into a room before turning to speak to me "well I did not plan to see you today, sorry for the wait, I didn't realise you were here" I laughed at him "I'm probably the most hated person in forks at the moment, I never thought anyone could accuse you of favouritism, Carlisle" he chuckled " I may have overreacted a little, I've never had one of my own children in hospital before, ill be glad when you are less breakable, my dear, I know why parents overact so now" I nodded secretly thrilled that he counted me as one of his children. "Speaking of overacting" Carlisle said as he inspected my burn, I raised my eyebrows at him, sometimes I really hated how Edward told Carlisle everything. Carlisle raised both of his hands in surrender "I am totally impartial in this, you need to sort this out between yourself. Please don't be mad at Edward, he didn't tell me without persuasion. He came home and went straight to his room, we thought you had argued about something because he refused to speak to anyone. Then when he did he shouted at Alice for meddling too much in your relationship, which although I agree with, the word choice was a bit harsh. Then when Esme tried to talk with him he shouted at her and stormed out." I saw how upset Carlisle was that Esme had been shouted at "are they ok?" He nodded "after we spoke he apologized but I'm more concerned about you two" I looked at him "I didn't mean it, I don't hate him" Carlisle nodded "I know, I also know Edward can be very overprotective but its just because he's frightened of losing you, he's waited a long time for you and now he can't bear the thought of you being apart from you" I smiled "I love him so much but sometimes I just can't believe how stubborn he is, Jacob isn't dangerous, he's my friend"

Carlisle smiled and shook his head at me "Jacob may not be physically dangerous around you although I must add in that I still think the werewolves pose a risk to you, even though they do not want to hurt you. However I think Edwards worried about something else" I looked at Carlisle confused, he simply shook his head at me bemused "you know, Jacob loves you in a way that you don't return but Edward has no clue how you really feel about Jacob. He's terrified you will leave him for Jacob but he does not want to stand in your way of happiness. He is so confused and what Jacob is doing is not helping.." I held up one finger "what's Jacob doing?" I asked interrupting him. He paused " I wasn't meant to tell you that" Carlisle said slowly " you need to take it up with Edward" I looked at Carlisle carefully " does Edward really think I would leave him for Jacob?" Carlisle nodded, I stood up. " you done here?" I asked gesturing towards my arm. He nodded, I walked straight to the door and down the corridor, Carlisle's laughter about my abrupt leaving echoing down the corridor. I couldn't bring myself to care right now, Edward and i had to discuss a lot of things, not just Jacob. I had put this off for long enough and it was time to talk.


	2. the aftermath

"Everything ok?" asked Charlie as we jumped into my truck, I nodded expecting him to drop it. "Bella..." he started and paused, looking around nervously "have you and Edward argued or something?" I opened my mouth to speak but he interrupted quickly "please don't tell me that it is none of my business, you are my business just tell me the truth" I looked at him and the concern in his eyes, I opened my mouth to answer him until I noticed something else in his eyes, hope. I looked at him appalled "I can't believe you, you want us to fight, don't you?" Charlie froze, looking flustered. "I cannot deny that I think there are people better matched for you than him. He left you bells, what's to stop him leaving again?" I could feel my temper flaring "people? The only person you want me with is Jacob and you won't listen to me when I tell you I don't like him that way, instead you encourage him to kiss me when I'm in a relationship already. Your wrong about Edward and I, we are perfect for each other. Just because he's not what you want for me, you can't accept that he's what I want and what I need in my life. I can see the future you and billy have thought up together. Walking me up the aisle to him, having children, living out our lives together only a half an hour ride away. That's not what I want so don't try and force that on me. It may be the future you want but what about me, did you even stop and think about what I want. Edward may have hurt me then but you're hurting me more now" I said jumping out of the truck. I turned round "just go, I'll get Carlisle to give me a lift home" I slammed the door in his face and stormed towards the hospital, I heard the truck pull away and drive off.

"Bella?" Carlisle called from behind me, I turned "hi, I'm guessing you heard everything?" he nodded, I just smiled meekly. "Are you ok to give me a lift home or shall I get someone else to?" I asked. "It's fine, I can take you back, home?" he questioned, I laughed "to Edward" I clarified, He chuckled. "ummm Carlisle can you do me a favour?" "Of course, I'm going to presume that it involves you making a certain son of mine very happy by forgiving him" Carlisle said hopefully, I nodded.

I stood outside the Cullen house nervously; I slowly made my way inside. I wondered if Edward was even home but Carlisle said he would be. I slowly ascended the stairs, running fingers along the wooden banister. I felt as if there was a lump in the back of my throat as I heard music gently echoing of the walls, originating from a door at the end of the corridor on the third floor, a room I knew well. My footsteps echoed in the strangely quiet house, I had never been here without Edward with me before. I opened the door slowly nervously swallowing, Edward lay on his bed, his eyes close and his body still even for a vampire. He didn't react when I slowly sat on the bed next to him; his eyes remained closed as I gently moved until I was leaning on one arm, half hovering over him. "Edward…" I whispered, begging him to react, he didn't. I gently leaned forward til my lips lightly touched his, he jerked his head away "please" he whispered "please don't" my heart ached, he was rejecting me. " I can't do this now, I can't say goodbye to you"

He thought I was leaving him, I shook my head at him and pulled on his arm trying to get him to sit up. He let me move him into a seating position and looked at me, his eyes boring into mine, searching them. I leant my forehead against his "you think I could ever love anyone else, the way I love you" he doesn't answer and that's enough. I walk over to sit at his desk in silence I feel his eyes watch me.

I placed the ring gently on the desk and turned the chair back around so I was facing Edward. His face fell as he took in my now bare finger, a small broken "please" fell from his lips as I stood and walked so I was in front of him. He looked up at me, his eyes showed how broken hearted he was but I had to do this. "I want a marriage, not a deal. This will never work if we are not equals and at the moment we are not. My changing is something that should have been decided between the two of us but you disregard my feelings on the matter and only took yours into account. That isn't a marriage and it most certainly isn't a partnership. I need you to take the time and really think about this, either be my husband, my equal or let me go" I looked him dead in the eye as I spoke, he didn't speak when I stopped and I didn't want him too. I swallowed shakily and gently leant down to gently brush my lips against his cheek, he leant into my touch instinctively "I love you Edward Cullen, always and forever." When I turn to leave, his hand shoots out to hold my arm in place on his cheek. He holds in there just for a moment before letting go, it doesn't feel like goodbye, it feels like hello.

Edward shows up late that night, he doesn't just appear in my room like he normally does, he knocks tentatively on my window. I only pause for a second before sliding the window open and standing to the side to let him in. He leads me by the hand and sits me down on my bed, sitting cross legged in front of me. His forehead rests on the back of my hand, Edward breathes deeply for a few seconds before looking up at me. "Your right. I was being stupid and selfish, I was trying to keep you close and at arms length at the same time. I never took your feelings into consideration and I'm truly sorry for that. Please know that I only want what is best for you because I love you with all that I am. You are my everything and most definitely, you are my soul, of that I have no doubts. If you are still willing, I want you to be my wife, my partner, my lover and most importantly my equal."

I couldn't contain myself anymore, I threw myself into his awaiting arms, his lips captured my own. I felt his tongue trace my lips, I moaned against his mouth. I froze, expecting him to stop but I felt him tighten his grip and kiss me with more force. I was the one to pull away, gasping for air as he leant his forehead on mine "I meant what I said, I have thought about what you said and something you said really got to me, more than the rest to be honest" I looked into his eyes confused, trying to pinpoint the direction of his thoughts. His eyes softened as he spoke "you said that our marriage was a deal. It just reminded me of the marriages of my youth and I wondered what my life would be like if Carlisle had never changed me and I had not caught the influenza. Chances are, I would have been trapped in a loveless marriage. Pining for a girl that I would never meet, a girl who would not even be born for eighty years, a life without you" his body shook in my arms and he hugged me tighter to his chest. "I don't won't you get to ever feel like we are only marrying for this deal, I love you so I'm breaking our deal" I looked at him bemused and slightly confused "I wanted to wait for marriage because in my day, it was then you were considered committed enough to give yourself to one another but I'm already committed to you, there will never be another."

I suck in my breath as I realise what he is saying "I want us to give ourselves to each other, I don't need or want to wait till we're married. You don't even have to marry me yet, I don't mind, we can wait till your ready. I don't want you to feel pressured" my lips are on his before he even finishes his sentence, my voice cracks with emotion as I speak "I'm ready, I want to be your wife. I don't even want to wait another second, I want the world to know your mine and I'm yours forever" our lips move in sync until I feel you move slightly and pull away to show me my ring.

"I believe you'll need this then, my love" I nod excitedly as you slip it on my finger and all is right in my world. We don't need all the loving words in that moment because we have already said them and right now we just want to hold each other. In the morning, there would be the families excitement, details of my changing, angry werewolves and furious fathers to deal with but right now, I could not care less.


	3. new series of one shots help :-)

Hey guys, I'm starting a new series of one shots. It going to be called 'what if'

basically these ideas for one shots can be anything, but I want you guys to help. If you have an idea feel free to review on this story or pm me. The one shots can be anything from

What if Bella was rich

To

What if carlisle was a merman

.I'lll try and get to them all :-)


	4. The resolution

Edward and I lay in my bed, neither of us spoke. His hand gently brushed through my hair, untangling the knots with his fingertips until it fell softy down my back. I lay against his chest, one hand laying above me, gently stroking the hair on the back of his neck. The other lay in his, my thumb rubbing circles on the back of his hand, it reminded me of the first time I had visited his house. I had met most of his family there, they had welcomed me with open arms, so happy that Edward had finally found someone to love. I wondered what had gone through their heads when a young human girl had waltzed through their door and into their life's, were they already waiting for Edward to change me, did they think it was inevitable? Did they even care back then? I had, I had wondered when Edward was going to change me, I was still wondering. I paused from stoking his hair, "When?"my voice echoed into the darkness that had fallen, it felt wrong to break the silence that we had embraced but i wouldn't be left waiting anymore. Edward held me tighter against him, pausing for a minute before answering "when you say you are ready" he whispered back, his lips finding mine, the kiss wasn't him worrying, it was his promise to me. When we broke apart, I leaned back against my personal pillow. I still wasn't sure about the whole marriage deal but Edward was right, I had been selfish. Instead of talking to him about me fears and talking them through with him, I had bottled it all up and then took it out on him for not guessing what was bothering me. I had been belittling him about not treating me as an equal but I was guilty of the same crime. Which brought me to another point, i had been thinking none stop and i needed to voice my decision "Edward, I want to wait" he looked at me carefully, his eyes narrowing as he studied my face, I knew he was trying to figure out where my thoughts were. "Why?" He asked "I told you it doesn't matter what I want, I only need you to be happy." "It does matter what you want, I know you" I brushed my lips against his "I know deep down you would rather we wait. You would want our first time to be as husband and wife and honestly I think" I breathed in slowly, making my decision and looking up at him smiling "it's what I want too. This isn't like before, this isn't a deal, this is us. This is us, deciding together, what we really want. This time we are not pushing each other into something the other doesn't want. I want to marry you and I want you to know that, I don't want you to think I don't" Edward beamed at me, pulling me back to the bed, rolling us so we were facing each other. "You have no idea how good that sounds. You are right, I don't want us to be in a relationship where we end up resenting the other for making us do something we don't want. I want to be your husband and even though I'm still nervous about hurting you, I want to make love to my wife on our honeymoon" I smiled, bringing our entwined fingers to my lips so I could kiss the back of his hand. After that, there were no words to say, nothing to do but lay in each others arms and watch as the room grew darker and the night settled around us. Edward gently traced loving patterns over my side and down over my stomach and legs, I smiled up at him. My smile faltered when I saw how dark his eyes were, I gently traced my finger over the bruises under them."you need to hunt" it wasn't a question, I could see from his face he knew he needed to too. He always felt bad about leaving me, he knew the nightmares I screamed out at night. He hugged me tightly against his chest "I can wait" he promised, I shook my head. "No, this is a part of who you are and I understand. I trust you to come back to me, I'm going to spend tomorrow catching up on some things so why don't you leave in the morning" I was surprised when I didn't feel the anxiety I usually did when he left, I knew i would miss him but I also knew he would be back soon. He nodded and we fell back into silence. I knew it was late and if I was going to get anything done tomorrow, I needed sleep. I let myself fall into a deep slumber and for once, I didn't worry about nightmares. I know this is short but the rest actually worked better in the next chapter,e should be one to three more before its finished. Anyway let me know what you think, I have so many stories going at the moment :D and I'm trying to get round to them all but its hard as I'm sure many of you know, just updated married to Emmett and what if, this was next and now I'm not sure. As ever, thank you for all the support and comments, I love all your comments and ideas and I do try to keep them all in mind. Xxx 


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